7 Ways to Have Lasting Relationships

All of us say and do stupid things. It’s part of being human. Not only are we a work in progress as individuals, we’re relationship challenged. When it comes to being in a committed relationship (one of the three most challenging parts of being human), surviving the normal ups and downs of intimate partnerships, there’s nothing more important than resilience.
resilience relationships
But what is resilience when it comes to being in a relationship?
Relationship resilience is the ability to work through and move forward after a setback, injury or loss to one or both partners. Staying engaged after a serious argument, misunderstanding or breech of trust — and finding our way back to one another is not an easy proposition. It would be easier to put up a wall of anger and tell our partners to go jump in a lake. Staying in “the pocket” (to borrow a term from professional football), is as critical to the survival and future success of a struggling relationship as anything.
Picking ourselves up off the floor, dusting ourselves off and getting back in the game (of love and companionship) requires the following.
7 Ways to Have Lasting Relationships
1. Humility
We can be right, and dead wrong. Humility is surrendering the need to be right, take the moral high ground (as the “good guy”) or punish our partner as a way of processing or coping with our pain. Humility sets a tone for listening, empathy, understanding, healing and eventually, forgiveness.
2. Patience
We must overcome the desire/impulse for a quick fix to make the “bad” or “negative” feelings go away or to reinstate the “old normal.” Desperation and impatience are the enemy of reconciliation. It takes as long as it takes for us to mend and trust again.
3. Perseverance
Prevailing over our hurt, anger and despair, containing our desire for revenge is critical. The depth of our commitment is reflected in our willingness to hang in there through the dry spells, rough stretches and difficult times when our relationship has lost its way.
4. Forgiveness
The decision to forgive our partner and give them another chance can be painfully difficult. Giving them an opportunity to earn back our love, trust and understanding may take time, patience and professional guidance. Working through what happened and being 100% honest with ourselves ...